They Brought My Matrimonial Photo to Tell Me I Was Overweight. That Was Just One of Eight Things That Happened That Day.

A young woman in South India shares her frustrations about the challenges she faces in the process of meeting potential suitors for arranged marriages, highlighting issues related to dowry, gender roles, and unrealistic expectations.

Man, today has been rough. As a young woman in South India, I'm going through the whole process of meeting potential suitors, and let me tell you, it's been a rollercoaster of emotions. I've had some incidents that really got to me: 1. This one guy's sister basically hinted that once I have kids, I'd be expected to stay at home and not work. Like, seriously? 2. Then there was this other guy's dad who questioned why a girl would even need to leave her home after getting married. Um, excuse me? 3. And get this, one family had the audacity to demand that my parents pay double the amount they spent on their son's education as dowry. Can you believe it? 4. Some families have even expressed concerns about my profession, saying it wouldn't fit into their family. They suggested I quit my job and focus on household duties if I want to marry their son. Seriously, who do they think they are? 5. But the worst thing happened today. They sent only women to evaluate me separately. They started discussing how a girl should look, commenting on my appearance and telling me to grow my hair longer and lose weight. Can you believe that? They even brought up a photo from a matrimonial site, saying I looked slightly overweight. They made it clear that I should meet their standard weight of 60kg before marriage, and they even expected me to gain more weight afterward. And on top of that, they questioned how I would handle household responsibilities if I continued to work long hours. It's just ridiculous. 6. People have also been asking if I know how to cook, wash clothes by hand, or perform religious rituals. Like, seriously? Is that all they care about? 7. And don't even get me started on the comments about my weight. They've compared me to taller family members and called me fat, telling me I should lose weight. It's so frustrating. 8. Oh, and get this, one lady straight up asked me if I knew how to wear a saree because apparently, I should only wear sarees after marriage. Can you believe the nerve? But you know what really got to me? When I asked this one guy who he'd like to travel with, he said only friends, even after marriage. Can you imagine? I have a cousin who thinks the same way. I just don't get it. Don't girls have the right to travel with their husbands after marriage? I've never had the chance to travel much, not even on college trips, because of all the restrictions from my family. So, what am I supposed to do?

I am not saying I will never do household work. I am not saying I want to marry someone and live however I want with no responsibilities. I am just saying — when you meet a girl for the first time, why is her weight the first thing you check. Why is her cooking the first question. Why is her profession a problem. Why does she have to quit her job and sit at home. Why does dowry have to be double what you spent on your son.

I am just a person. I have a job. I have dreams. I have a life that I built myself. Is that really so difficult to respect.

That is all I am asking. Not much. Just basic respect. Treat the girl you are considering for your son the same way you would want someone to treat your own daughter. That is it. Nothing more.