Navigating the Fear of COVID-19: A Personal Reflection
Two days ago, I embarked on a journey from Bangalore to my hometown, filled with a mix of emotions. The purpose of this trip was simple – to collect my belongings from my room and bid farewell to my PG aunty. But what I hadn't anticipated was the rollercoaster of emotions that awaited me, primarily fueled by the ever-present fear of COVID-19.
For months now, I've made it a habit to carry hand sanitizer wherever I go, a practice adopted by many since the pandemic began. It has become second nature to me, a constant companion in my bag. However, on this particular trip, I somehow forgot to ensure its presence.
During my visit, I learned that my PG aunty had been experiencing a fever. This, of course, raised concerns, but I couldn't bring myself to engage in conversation with her while wearing a mask. It was only after our interaction and returning to my car that I realized my hand sanitizer was nowhere to be found. Panic set in as I contemplated the possibility of exposure to the virus.
Despite my initial attempt to dismiss these fears, the anxiety began to creep in. The long, tiring journey back home did little to ease my troubled mind. I arrived home, exhausted and drained, and attributed my weariness to the rigors of travel.
However, the next day, my throat began to ache, and an unsettling sensation of pricking took hold. My mind raced as I contemplated the consequences of my potential exposure to the virus. It was then that I decided to check the COVID-19 situation in my area, a reality I had been blissfully ignorant of during my stay in Bangalore.
My fears deepened as I learned of the rising cases in the city and the number of people diagnosed with the virus. Memories of acquaintances who had battled COVID-19, including one who had tragically lost their life, haunted my thoughts. I was gripped by the fear of becoming a "corona patient" and dreaded the implications it might hold.
My family urged me to take medication as a precautionary measure before considering a hospital visit. Still, my anxiety about entering the realm of COVID-19 patients loomed large. Despite lacking fever symptoms, even a dry cough seemed suspicious in my mind due to the changing climate.
As I grappled with this uncertainty, I began retracing my steps, recalling every person I had encountered during my Bangalore visit, hoping to gauge whether I had truly been exposed to someone with a fever. The fear of unknowingly carrying the virus and potentially infecting others weighed heavily on me.
I resolved to self-quarantine within the confines of my home, a decision fueled by a desire to protect my loved ones from potential exposure. Until I exhibited symptoms or underwent testing, I opted to remain isolated, hoping that my immune system would continue to shield me from any lurking threats.
The fear of COVID-19 transcends the fear of death itself. In these trying times, our most potent weapon remains hand sanitizer – a small yet mighty guardian that helps us keep germs at bay. I'm grateful for its invention and for my immune system, which, I pray, continues to keep me safe from the invisible enemy lurking in our midst.
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