Arranged Marriages: Challenging Norms Through Personal Encounters and Relationship Dynamics

Explore the complexities of arranged marriages, as one woman questions the age-old traditions and the need for personal connection in this thought-provoking reflection

Today, I find myself questioning the age-old traditions of arranged marriages, wondering about the basis on which someone accepts or rejects another person. It was a day like any other, one of those girl-seeing experiences that are common in my culture.

As is customary, the boy's family arrived, and the initial conversations were exchanged. I got ready, mentally preparing myself for a meeting that was supposed to shape my future. Little did I know what awaited me.

The usual protocol involves offering coffee, a brief exchange of pleasantries, and, if both parties agree, a private conversation between the boy and me. However, this time, something entirely unexpected occurred. No one called me after serving coffee. No one initiated a conversation. I sat there, waiting, like a mere accessory, as if my presence or opinions didn't matter.

I was left bewildered and frustrated. Why did they come if they weren't interested in even seeing me or talking to me? It felt as if they only cared about my family, not the individual behind the arranged marriage facade. I questioned the essence of this tradition. Was it merely about uniting families, with the girl's role reduced to insignificance?

What struck me even more was the revelation that my own family, particularly the older members, had deterred the boy from speaking to me. They had intervened in a situation that should have been an opportunity for two people to understand each other.

In this era of freedom and individuality, do we not deserve the chance to decide our own destinies? Is a horoscope and family approval sufficient grounds for marriage, while personal compatibility and communication take a back seat?

I'm left pondering what criteria this boy's family used to make their decision. It wasn't about my face, attitude, character, personality, or shared interests because they never even spoke to me.

Today, I share my story, not just for myself but for all those who have experienced the enigma of arranged marriages. It's time to challenge the norms, question societal expectations, and place importance on personal connections. Marriage is more than just uniting families; it's about bringing two individuals together who genuinely want to share their lives.

Join me in this conversation, share your thoughts, and let's explore the complexities of arranged marriages and the need for personal connection. Like and subscribe to stay updated with more thought-provoking stories.